329. New camera (thanks to you!)

June 7th, 2010 § 19 Comments

Hi weezys, guess what? I got a new camera! (It made me a little shy and a lot bossy.) Thanks to everyone who gave me such great advice on what kind of camera to get. (You’re the best!) I ended up going with Canon. Here are some photos Michael & I took. The kitty playsuit is from Mandate of Heaven. Mandate of Heaven playsuits are so good they make me cry lactose-free tears of effusive love. For example, how did they know to make a denim playsuit with kitty pockets and plaid shoulder ties? Or a powder blue halter playsuit with heart pockets? Mandate, you’re amazing.

I celebrated the return of Ethiopian lunch by having some with my friend, thought about de-classy-ing these cupcakes by baking them in my penis cupcake pan, took too many photos with my new camera (I’m so happy you can finally see my shoes and socks clearly in photos,) returned 87 library books, bought a hat (the green one’s mine) for the first time in my life because Starr always looks so freaking amazing in hats and she’s my style inspiration for everything these days, played pool in a bar for the second time in my life (playing billiards with my friend in his dad’s basement home bar while sneaking sips of our parents’ bourbon when we were in middle school doesn’t count, does it?) and sucked as expected, danced to The Velvet Underground not by myself, and danced to Big Boi’s newish track by myself.

Is there anything else I can tell you? I took these photos just around town, and maybe they give you an idea of where I live and what my life is like, although although a truer depiction might be me sitting at my desk, typing and shouting epithets at myself while wearing the same sack dress/terrycloth romper I always wear when it’s hot. Or maybe you also live in my town and you know all the places in this photo and you read this blog but I don’t know this, in which case, don’t tell me because I’ll feel self-conscious and a little weird.

In the next few days, I need to write more, read with more penetration and concentration, and plan my trip to San Francisco. I’m taking a Greyhound bus from here to San Francisco, and I’m not sure if I should take the bus straight through or if I should get off and explore (and sleep in an actual bed.) I’ve wanted to see Salt Lake City ever since I watched SLC Punk in high school, which is a totally shallow reason, and also I know that the movie is supposed to make you think Salt Lake City is a depressing, soul-sucking place to live, but I liked that back then (and now.)

I have also started to answer some questions on my Formspring. I feel crazy self-conscious about having one.

Have I mentioned already that I’m so grateful to everyone who visits and reads our blog? You’re the best.

(My socks are from Shanghai, my shoes are Swedish Hasbeens)

(My bag is from the very early days of Ebay, like when Britney was still this hot young maybe-virgin dripping in images that contradicted her words, and there was a picture of her wearing this bag and I searched for it on Ebay and got it for $3.99, so thanks Brit for the bag inspiration and for the songs: Toxic, Crazy, Boys, My Prerogative [sic], and I’m Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman.)

(my photographer)

Love, Jenny

328. Mad Beyonce love

June 5th, 2010 § 15 Comments

I’ve loved Beyonce ever since I read an interview with her in Blender magazine where she said, “I make black records. I write records like I speak, and I don’t try to change my songs so everyone else likes them.” I think her record sales plummeted by something like 70 percent after this interview came out. The veracity of her claim may be contested by some who don’t feel that Beyonce is making black records, but nevertheless, my love for her spiked by 1000 percent, although, truth be told, it was already high from her ability to pronounce ‘trifling’ like it was the finest three-word-hyphenate smackdown a girl could lay on her stingy boyfriend in ‘Bills, Bills, Bills,’ and she and the other Destiny Child ladies were responsible for the finest mondegreen I’ve yet to encounter: “The club is full of ballers and they cock is full grown,” even though supposedly the lyrics are, “The club is full of ballers and they pockets full grown.”

I know I’m always and ever late to hitch my star to the praise-love wagon, but I love love love Beyonce’s new video for her only so-so song, “Why Don’t You Love Me?” It’s all playsuits and cat-eye sunglasses and Bettie Page bangs and polka dots and pin-up garters and everything I’d love to wear if only I could have a friend like Beyonce who’d wear these things with me and go with me to the Farmer’s market and the library and together we could combat the creepy dudes who make me feel like a real asshole because I don’t enjoy reading my James Baldwin novel while dude stares straight at me, inching closer to me every five minutes in some kind of weird Mother May I game of gazing and approaching.

Screencaps taken by me and the video is here:

The video led me to discover Gertie’s New Blog for Better Sewing, which makes me happy because of posts like “Retro and Race,” where she questions a Feministing post that suggests Beyonce dressing up as a pin-up girl or a Betty Draper type housewife is transgressive because Beyonce is black:

Is it really so transgressive for a woman of color to do retro? It’s quite true that the retro and vintage subculture is predominately white. But why? It’s not like women of color didn’t live through the eras we celebrate. And, you know, they wore clothes and did their hair.

And I can’t mention critiques of whitewashed ‘vintage’ and ‘retro’ images, without mentioning LaToya Peterson’s post on Jezebel:

It is occasions like this that remind me how complete and total segregation was, and how white washed history can be. If these images are associated solely with whiteness, it’s because the history of women of color has been systematically erased, deemed unworthy of inclusion in the general framework of “the way we were.” There were upper middle class black women in the 50s and 60s, even entire enclaves like Striver’s Row in Harlem. However, one did not have to be upper class, or even upper middle class, to be a housewife. (Just as one did not have to be black to work as a domestic for a wealthier family.)

Or this old Threadbared post by Mimi, “In Vintage Color,” featuring one of Meggy’s photos (from this post,) which was a beautiful meditation on the “historical absence of Asians and Asian Americans in American popular culture as fashionable bodies –and through fashion as contemporaneous bodies.” And will you just look at the lovely things she said about Meggy’s photos and their role and function in coloring our imagined and lived past:

But one of the things I appreciate the most is how her outfit posts might be alternately imagined as a series of “found” photographs of some glamorous mid-century Asian American starlet, scholar, or secretary — figures of both ordinary and extraordinary womanhood. Elegantly coiffed and impeccably dressed, Meggy poses most often in the familiar fashions of the 1930s, ’40s and ’50s, but with a significant difference.

As an archival imaginary, the sartorial or style category of “vintage” is often whitewashed in those forms of visual culture that comprise so much of its popular inspiration, e.g., fashion illustrations, film stars, advertising photographs. Against the glaring absence of similar images featuring other bodies, Meggy’s photographs permit us to see what we have not been allowed to see. To me, it feels like Meggy renders visible the historical absence of Asians and Asian Americans in American popular culture as fashionable bodies –and through fashion as contemporaneous bodies– and also corrects this absence in creating another archive through which we might imagine otherwise.

I couldn’t agree more.

Love, Jenny

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Replies to 337. Some love, some hate:

Dang! You guys are the smartest, most thoughtful, and supportive readers/commenters ever. I’m so grateful for your readership and your responses. I wish I could be more articulate and fastidious in my writing–I’ll keep trying.

Replies to 336: Help me:

Dang it again! You guys are the best! I ended up going with Canon because I’m already familiar with Canon cameras. I’ll show you the photos I took with my camera tomorrow. Thank you again. I don’t know how my duncery would have ever managed without your advice and smarts.

337. Some love, some hate

June 3rd, 2010 § 20 Comments

(Edit: MIA in Jeremy Scott at the recording studio from bonafide-hustler)

So grossed out by the NY Times Magazine cover article on MIA, and so grossed out by all the articles I’ve read so far by Lynn Hirschberg, which seem to be of the ‘LET ME TAKE DOWN THIS FINE LOOKING FEMALE WHO IS CULTURALLY RELEVANT RIGHT NOW AND MAKE HER SEEM PATHETICALLY PUERILE AND VACANTLY DESPERATE FOR ATTENTION AND CONTROVERSY’ genre.

It’s not that it’s a cultural tragedy to take down a musician like M.I.A (except it is because she’s fucking great!) but it’s the underlying assumptions in this article that are making me want to spank the NYT’s and Hirschberg’s bunged up bunghole. Here are just a few of those assumptions:

1) If you dare speak out against poverty, against oppression, against racism and injustice then you better fucking be living in a shitty-ass, tiny apartment with rat turds all piled up in a corner. At least that’s the only conclusion I can draw when the article takes such pains to make sure we are aware that M.I.A, or Maya, “moved to Los Angeles from New York, buying a house in very white, very wealthy Brentwood, an isolated and bucolic section of the city with a minimal history of trauma and violent uprisings.”

And where does the writer of this article live? In a crowded and ugly section of the city with maximum history of trauma and violent uprisings? Where do the readers of the NY Times magazine live? In horrible, run-down neighborhoods choked by poverty and rampant shootings every week? Why does it draw our ire and outrage when we find out that someone who we thought was poor and came from a hard-knock life is actually, GASP, NO LONGER POOR. Where’s the fucking gasp for people who grew up privileged and–GASP–are still privileged?

2) If you dare bring awareness to any kind of political struggle, or try to be politically active at all, then you better be spending all of your time fighting injustice and being serious and NEVER EVER EVER EVER care about superficial things for even a minute. (Only people who are politically apathetic can get away with being superficial, because we reward people for their political apathy by not holding them up to the same high standards we hold anyone who is politicized or becoming politicized.) Here Hirschberg makes sure to draw attention to the gourmet fries that M.I.A is eating (ORDERED FOR HER BY HIRSCHBERG!):

Unity holds no allure for Maya — she thrives on conflict, real or imagined. “I kind of want to be an outsider,” she said, eating a truffle-flavored French fry. “I don’t want to make the same music, sing about the same stuff, talk about the same things. If that makes me a terrorist, then I’m a terrorist.”

Thanks for using your sleezy and bromidic writing tricks to draw out what a freaking hypocrite M.I.A is for both wanting to be an outsider and eating a truffle-flavored French fry. On the most basic level, this is offensive to me because it completely denies the right that all people have to be complicated, weird, and contradictory. Haven’t we all yelled at someone we love? Pursued the profound alongside the superficial? There’s so many more examples. An example: is it really so atrocious to come home from a protest in the streets and think, Okay, so what should I eat for lunch and where should I go dancing tonight? Or must we think: Okay!  Now what important, political-social issue will I struggle fiercely against next?

I think on a deeper level, the implications of this article are disturbing to me because they express a very common view: that political activism is something only incredibly serious and morally upright people do. And anyone who dares to express political or radical views, anyone who calls themselves an activist better be completely perfect and never allow themselves any iota of privilege or wealth or comfort or selfishness, otherwise they’ll be heavily criticized and belittled for trying to express any political views and expressions of humanity. Which not only makes it very unattractive to be politically active, but it also excuses the rest of us from having any obligation to educate ourselves and take action. It’s an insidious form of psychological reassurance, because it elevates the notion of ‘political activism’ to something that is reserved for the saintly, the spectacularly selfless and devoted like Martin Luther King or Gandhi, both of whom have been mythologized into angelic warriors so that the rest of us can think: well, of course no one expects me to sacrifice on the level of someone like MLK.

Political activism is for everyone–flawed people, self-absorbed people, immature people, mature people, artists and philistines and intellectuals and sensualists and materialists. People who do good in the world are not saints. They’re normal, flawed people, and what that means for those of us who don’t give a shit is that doing good is not some special, holy activity reserved for the amazingly beneficent (aka some kind of Mother Theresa figure,) but in fact everyone (no matter how flawed and selfish) has an obligation and duty to do good, to educate oneself, to take part in struggles against oppression, and one cannot be excused of this obligation because one does not possess the correct moral character.

Another side note: WHY IS IT THAT ANYONE WHO ADVOCATED FOR ARMED STRUGGLE IS ALWAYS DISMISSED AS JUST A RABBLE-ROUSER? Are we too scared to accept that someone might actually have a valid, thought-out, judicious reason for supporting armed struggle or must we believe only immature, shallow, attention-seeking people would ever advocate for violent resistance, LEST OUR MORAL UNIVERSE BE COMPLETELY SHATTERED?

3) Finally, this last assumption is annoyingly fashion related–and I had the same problem with An EducationANY WOMAN WHO CARES ABOUT CLOTHES AND FASHION CANNOT POSSIBLY BE INTELLIGENT OR THOUGHTFUL OR ANYTHING OTHER THAN SHALLOW AND MATERIALISTIC! Hirschberg devotes pages and pages to MIA’s sartorial choices, framing her fashion choices in the context of extravagance, or in the context of wanting to create shock value to gain publicity and attention. Well, just like in an An Education, it’s an anti-feminist stance to take, and what’s more, it’s an ANTI-WOMAN stance to deny women the expansiveness and the right to be interested in fashion and still be smart and capable and serious when seriousness is called for (and playful when playfulness is needed.) The article ends on a clothing note:

She [M.I.A.] spotted a tiger costume, complete with whiskered hood, hanging next to an orange sari. “Look at that tiger!” Maya said. “I could wear that at the photo shoot tomorrow!” She paused and considered the implications of dressing up as a tiger. “It’s probably too much,” she said finally. “It might seem like I was making a joke.”

And so what if she was? Can’t women be funny and provocative and thoughtful and engaging and profound all at once? (See: American Able project.)

There’s so much more to critique about this article–unfair expectations for artists, unfair expectations of authenticity for people of color, terrible terrible prose writing, women on women take-downs, zero comprehension or empathy for the blurry divisions between performed identity and whatever shred of sacrosanct private self we can still safely possess, & more more more but not from me, at least not now.

Now for some SHALLOW CLOTHES TALK (don’t worry, I’m completely shallow in every way so there’s no need to judge me on the same terms that Hirschberg’s article judges M.I.A.)

I love this dress! It’s named after Tieka’s blog, Selective Potential, which I also love.

Dress from Modcloth; vintage belt from my moms; 90s open-toe shoesies from Etsy (I think); bracelet and little gold pin from nice people.

Love, Jenny

326. Help me figure out what camera to buy (I don’t have a mind of my own!)

June 2nd, 2010 § 14 Comments

Hi owners of fancy, nice DSLR cameras! Can you help me decide what camera I should get today? A Canon Rebel XS or a Nikon D3000? Or a Canon Rebel XSi? Or a Nikon D5000? Or do you want to blow my mind and tell me I should get something else entirely?

Three not light-leaked photos from my Kodak film camera and one light leaked photo::

From top to bottom: my summer uniform; his summer uniform; the terry green romper I wear around the house to make Thai and Malaysian noodles

Love, Jenny

325. Ternion of sad passings

June 2nd, 2010 § 5 Comments

Leslie Scalapino passed away. (Ron Silliman told me.)  Louise Bourgeois died last week.  I’m glad a woman as stupendously imaginative, and frighteningly smart as Louise got some recognition when she was well into her seventies, although let’s give the stupendously imaginative and frighteningly smart women who are now in their twenties and thirties and forties and fifties and sixties some recognition now and not wait until they’re in their 70s. I didn’t know Dennis Hopper had cancer. Michael told me he passed away recently too. I made fun of him in Easy Rider, and was scared of him in Blue Velvet, and I think he’s a magnificent actor.

A sculpture by Louise:

Louise’s old lingerie hanging on beef bones:

Louise’s cell:

(Images from Centre Pompidou)

A scene with Dennis (and Peter Fonda sobbing his father’s name on an acid trip):

From “DeLay Rose” by Leslie:

(2nd Avenue Poetry)

Love, Jenny

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