412. Firsts
September 30th, 2011 § 10 Comments
Ashley took this photo of me at the blogger picnic in Central Park that happened a few weeks ago, and was sweet enough to send it to me. I’m wearing a Mandate of Heaven playsuit, a peach bow given to me by Harry & Janice, an LV bag I borrowed from my mom, and I’m sitting on a scarf I bought in Croatia the summer it was 110 degrees every day.
I find it harder and harder to keep up this blog. When I upload a photo, I worry that the people in it will be upset with me for posting photos of them online. Then I take down all the photos with other people in it and end up with just photos of myself, and then I wonder if people reading this blog think that I’m a lonely, sad person who poses for photos by myself? Not that I’m not a lonely person (or sad person for that matter!) but my loneliness and sadness have nothing to do with not having enough friends or family by my side, it’s has more to do with how possible it is to feel lonely even when surrounded by people I love.
Then I write little stories about my life that also inevitably involve my loved ones, and I wonder how they would feel about me telling stories about them on this little, insignificant blog of mine, and then I have to erase those stories as well. I’m not interested in “branding” myself or securing sponsors and advertising and becoming the sort of fashion blog that is essentially a corporate brand that does a way better job of seeming “personal” and “intimate” because there’s only one person in charge of the content–since that doesn’t appeal to me, and now the thought of sharing too many photos and too many stories is causing me enough anxiety that I find myself holding back, I wonder what can this ‘lil site do? What can it do for you? What can it do for me? Anything?
I’m sure my lack of updates on this site hasn’t brought a complete halt to anyone’s life, but in case you are craving more of my dumb, negligible thoughts, here are some other places you can find me:
I interviewed my first kiss for Rookie, and you can read about it here.
I wrote a short story for Rookie about being a teenager, wanting to fall in love, experiencing all kinds of firsts that are supposed to be scary but aren’t, mental illness, and loving your family and wanting to be loved by them. You can read it here.
I try my hand at red carpet analysis for Jezebel here. I hope I’m not being too snarky or mean or contributing to any sort of girl-hate or body-policing, and if I am, please please please call me out. I’m always happy to be called out and to see if I can’t be better next time.
With love,
Jenny
I just read the short story on Rookie; even if you stop writing on this blog, please still keep linking us to your stuff
<3Meghan
Again, even though I’ve been a lurker here, I can’t tell you how much I look forward to your posts! They always inspire me with the painful honesty and self-reflectiveness, and I really appreciate this blog for what it has been – smart, political, beautifully articulated. Good luck in deciding what to do with this space, but please do keep linking to your other writing!
You look great here. Loved your piece on Rookie!
Don’t stop blogging! Your writing is wonderful.
Ah I have yet to find time to read through your few Rookie articles, but I will get to it soon I promise. I’m sure they’re brilliant! I remember talking about this with you while I was there in NYC (and we were eating that delicious fried chicken that I am currently craving!). I hope you either get over the worry that your friends/family will be weirded out of you including them on this lovely site (they should be flattered really); or that you find it within yourself to continue writing lovely pieces about all your life adventures. You have to give yourself more credit Jenny–you are so smart, clever, and a hoot to read about!
Love and miss ya!
I have to tell you that I’m always embarrassingly excited when a new post of yours appears here. I cannot tell you enough how brilliantly intelligent and insightful and lovely your writing is. Heidi in the above comment explains it better than I do! Of course it is your decision entirely what to do with this space, but I hope you keep writing and allowing us little glimpses of your work.
Love and smiles, Jenny
Every time I read one of your posts I want to write you a long comment about how much I appreciate the thought that goes in to them, and how much they get me thinking and reflecting on my own life. I don’t know if it means much, but I love how honest you seem to be about issues and problems that are usually worrying me as well or at least I wish were worrying me. Previous comments have said this better than me, but I wanted to thank you for all the beauty and intelligence of your writing. You inspire me! Whether you decide to keep this space up (I hope you do!) or not, thanks for all your insight and lovely stories and photos! Jesse
I don’t know what this site can do for you, but for me, it’s a little window into things that I’ve thought or felt or dreamed but haven’t quite caught hold of, or put to words. Sometimes it is thoughtful, lovely writing, which got me to read it in the first place. Sometimes though, it it a reflection of myself or the strange world I love, and this is why I look forward to your posts, and sometimes save them up to read in a quiet moment, rather than when they first appear.
I really hope you keep writing, wherever, I’ll keep following you because I miss your voice.
Also I just saw your book review of Persepolis and I think you should check out Embroideries too by Marjane Satrapi. Graphically I really really enjoyed it more but the story is pretty good too, though not as compelling as Persepolis. That said I am hunting down Epileptic asap!
Read your beautiful story in Rookie! It made me long so much to see you — I will be in NYC Oct 26-Nov 3, can we hang out? I hope so! I deeply miss you.
xoxoxo
Julia